Do People Really Love To Hate?

That's a very interesting question, isn't it? My husband and I got into a discussion earlier about this … which is what inspired me to write this post.

The conversation started out with us discussing some issues that I was upset with concerning Facebook. Then, the conversation turned into me stating how I didn't know how I could be a writer when I really don't like feedback and opinions. (Well, … probably more like negative feedback and opinions as I have never been good with constructive criticism. It's something I'm working on.) My husband said it didn't really matter whether or not people loved or hated me because they may still read my stuff anyways. Huh? * Baffled look * How could anyone want to like something or someone that they hate? My husband talked about people like Howard Stern and Rush Limbaugh and how people may not like them personally, but they will still tune in to find out what asinine thing they are going to come up with next.

Now, while that concept baffles me that people would want to listen to someone they can't stand, after thinking about it I realized that Tom might be on to something there. I mean, think about it. Look at the shows that people watch these days … all the reality shows. There are shows like Survivor and Jersey Shore where they are based off from backstabbing and drama, and sometimes backstabbing drama. Think about people like Snooki from Jersey Shore. You may not like her, … I'm not big on her myself … but if the right headline catches your eye, you may feel compelled to read it. Hell, the news media plays off from the junk all the time. They are always putting out news stories about celebrities like that … people we “love to hate.”

It's insanity … if you ask me. And since this is my blog, … I asked me. * wink and smile *

How, and why, would people want to pay attention to other people and things that they hate? Does this world really love conflict and drama? Do we really love to hate? Guess that's the way the world is … sad to say. Hmmmmm, ...

The Two Greatest Mother’s Day Gifts

As I pondered Mother's Day today while browsing on Facebook, I realized that I had so much more tom be grateful for. Not that I wasn't grateful already for these things, but it reiterated my gratitude and why I should be so grateful.

The first thing I am extraordinarily grateful for is my mom, Georgette, and the fact that I still have her around, especially since she's had different health issues for the past 20 plus years. I saw a lot of people on Facebook who had lost their moms and greatly missed them. It was so touching reading so many of their posts and it made me realize just how lucky I am to be able to spend today with my mother. I made my mother a homemade card and had my dad take a picture of us with my camera. I posted the picture of the two of us on my Facebook page. I also made sure that I told my mother just how much I love her. I think it meant a lot to my mom that I did these things and I feel good that I did, too. I don't want to take my mother or a single day of her life with us for granted.

The second thing I'm grateful for on this Mother's Day is my son, Thomas. He is my love and my life. He is my world. I am so grateful for his kind heart. He made my mom two pictures and made me a picture as well which expressed how much Thomas loves me. (His words.) I am grateful that despite what happened to me when Tommy was born, (preeclampsia and HELLP Syndrome), that I still have him. I known so many wonderful women who lost their babies from these horrible diseases. I am grateful Tommy's creative and intuitive spirit. I know I'm partial here, but, to me, he's the most amazing little boy in the whole world!

I hope that everyone in the world was able to receive these feelings of gratitude as well. Appreciate what you've got while you've still got it because you never know … one day you may not have it, or them, anymore. Happy Mother's Day, Moms … past, present, and future!

I Will Remember Him Fondly

On Thursday, April 19, 2012, the world lost a great musician.  His name was Greg Ham and he was the saxophonist, flutist, and keyboardist for the 1980’s group Men At Work.  Personally, I am a big fan of Men At Work’s and have been since I was kid … which is when they were a band.  It’s a very sad loss, especially since he was only 58 years old.

A couple of year’s ago, there was a scandal going on when Men At Work was accused of stealing the flute tune from one of their biggest hits, and one of my favorites, Down Under.  They lost the case and Greg feared that he would go down in music history as the man who stole a flute solo, and this seemed to be something that haunted Greg until his death.  Friends stated that he was not the same man after that.

Personally, I feel the case was shifty, but that’s just my opinion.  I mean, why sue someone over 20 years after the fact.  Strange, but true.  And I honestly don’t know every single detail about it.  My intuition just tells me it’s bull.  Again, … my opinion.

That being said, … I wanted to write a little note to Greg on here from a fan for life.

---

Dear Greg,

You don’t know me, but I am a huge fan of Men At Work. I grew up with listening to your music … literally.  I feel sad because you were taken so soon from this world, but I know you will find true peace on the other side.

I know you had your fears about how people would remember you after the court case concerning your song Down Under.  I know it hurt you and you felt angry and embarrassed by it.  Please know that I am pretty sure that most of your fans will not think about this when they listen to your music.

I remember watching you in a concert that my dad had taped.  I was so amazed and impressed by the fact that you played so many different instruments and so beautifully.  I have always seen you as a very talented individual who created a wonderful legacy of beautiful music.  And this is coming from one of your fans!

I really, truly do believe that you will be remembered for the good contributions you left in this world and not something frivolous law suit.  I am sorry that it was so tough on you and that this world brought you so much pain when you tried to bring them joy.

Please know that your fans still love you and will always remember you fondly.  Please rest in peace, my friend. May we one day meet on the flip side so that I can Thank You personally for giving me the gift of your wonderful music with Men At Work.

Thanks for the music, Greg Ham!

With Love … Your fan,

Deanna

Expecting The Unexpected

25 Year’s Ago Today …

My beloved Uncle, Chester Smith, went to heaven.  I was only 12 … almost 13, years old, and when it happened, it truly hit me hard.  I was not prepared for what had happened, as many people aren’t when their loved one’s die suddenly.  All I knew was that one minute the man I had loved my whole life was there, then the next, he was gone.  He had had a major heart attack and died within a few hours from when the ambulance had picked him up in our front yard.  (My uncle lived in the house that my family and I now live in.  We lived behind him in a trailer at the time.) 

I had been sent over to my aunt’s home – on my mother’s side of the family; my uncle is on my father’s side.  I was over there for hours waiting to hear what was going on, but didn’t hear anything.  My cousin ended up taking me to the hospital to see what was going an and soon after arriving, I received a big shock that still hits me kind of hard to this day.  A very insensitive nurse came out told me the news by saying, “He died.”  Just like that.  “He died …”  And that was all she wrote.  I barely made it back to the elevator before bawling my eyes out.  It just hurt so bad.  My parents never meant for me to find out that way, and my aunt still feels bad to this day for having my cousin bring me there.  I’ve told her that I don’t blame her.  I mean, she didn’t know any more than I did.  We just wanted to know what was going on.

So, … anyways …

Wow!  It has been twenty-five years now.  It’s so strange.  It was after 1987 and that event that my life began to change.  It started when we moved from the trailer into my uncle’s house.  Since then, … so many “unexpected” changes have occurred in my life.  In 1989, I began my struggle with depression.  In 1997, I was stricken with panic disorder.  In 2004, I came down with severe preeclampsia and HELLP Syndrome and had to give birth to my son via c-section 6 weeks early.  I believe it was 2005 that I found out that I have a blood clotting disorder called prothrombin gene mutation. Then, in 2006, I was diagnosed with secondary unexplained infertility.

Most of what I thought would happen in my life so far hasn’t happened.  Of course, that doesn’t mean that something else won’t come along because it always does.  Do I get disappointed by things that happen in my life that are totally unexpected?  Sure, of course I do.  I’m still dealing with a lot of those feelings and emotions. 

What my point is in all of this is that things happen.  Some things are good … while some are downright terrible.  In life, we have to learn how to roll with the punches and keep on fighting the good fight, no matter what.  It’s about gaining resiliency and not letting the bad times ruin your life.  Take a good look at your obstacles and try to make the best of them.  There is always something good that can be found even in the worst of situations.  Sometimes you just have to look beyond the darkness to see the light.  One day the sun will shine again and it will shine on you.

© Deanna Smith-Powers/The Lotus Flower Butterfly Girl, 2012.

Sometimes It's the Little Things in Life We Should Be the Most Thankful For!

All too often we are so obsessed with the things that we want or don't have that we sadly take for granted what we do have.  Very often these things are the average, ordinary things such as:

Family

Friends

Jobs

Homes

Electricity

Heat

Food

Clothes

Cars

Our pets

Internet

Cable T.V.

I suppose the list could go on and on, but what my main point is how important it is to count each and every one of your blessings even when they seem trivial.  A lot of people in the world don't even have the bare minimum of these things, so if you do --- please be grateful and give thanks for all that you do have.

Blessings & Love to you all!  Happy Thanksgiving!  (And remember, Thanksgiving can be every day if you choose to give thanks for your blessings always!) 

I Will Never Forget 9/11

September 11, 2011

I Will Never Forget 9/11

I’m not usually an early morning person, or a morning person at all for that matter, but on September 11, 2001, I had to drive my husband to work that morning.  I remember it being around 8:50 a.m. and I was driving home after dropping Tom off at work.  I was listening to the radio and I heard them saying that a plane had hit one of the towers at the World Trade Center.  I’ll admit I was kind of baffled at first because to my recollection, they were pretty big buildings and I was wondering to myself “how could someone not see them?”

I soon arrived at home at 9 a.m.  I turned on the t.v. to see what was going on.  I soon got one of the biggest shocks of my life a few minutes later when I saw another plane hit into the second tower of the WTC.  My first reaction, and please forgive me, was “Oh s***!” soon followed by “Oh my God!”  My hands were firmly clasped upon my face in utter horror and shock.  I couldn’t believe what I was seeing.  But as everybody already knows, this was just the beginning of this horrible tragedy.

I remember watching the towers burn.  I remember staring it utter horror as people jumped out of the buildings.  It was heartbreaking and is honestly quite painful to write about as I am trying to do this.  I remember seeing what happened at the Pentagon and the plane crashing in Pennsylvania.  I couldn’t help but wonder what the hell was going on.  It almost felt like the end of the world was here.

I remember my dad waking up and me telling him about what was going on.  And soon, me, my mom, and my dad sat and watching as the first tower collapsed, soon followed by the second.  It was such a sad and awful sight to have to see.  I can honestly tell you that I have only seen my dad cry a handful of times and this was one of them.  Hell, I’m getting teary-eyed writing this.

The rest of the day just was gut-wrenching.  I remember constantly hearing updates of how many people were missing and were presumed dead.   Just so very sad.

I remember later on in the afternoon I had to pick up Tom from work.  I was already very upset by what was going on and my husband ended up getting out late --- which put me in a worse mood.  Tom wasn’t really aware of what was going on because he didn’t have access to a t.v. or radio where he was working.  I remember sobbing to him and telling him that the towers were gone.  “They’re gone!  They’re just gone!”  I sobbed.  Tom was in shock and ended up seeing all of this for the first time on the televisions at Walmart.  Tom had been in one of the towers before with his father.

In the aftermath of 9/11, most of us did our parts, or at least what we could do, to help assist with the rescue efforts and with helping those in need.  I know Tom and I did what we could even if it wasn’t much at times because we didn’t really have much to give at the time.

I guess, for me, time and other events in my life have begun to numb some of the pain of 9/11, although, I will honestly forget what happened as it was one of the most significant events in history for my generation and it taught me a lot about life.

My thoughts and prayers go out to the family and friends of the victims of September 11^th.

What I learned from 9/11

What I learned from 9/11

By:  Deanna Smith-Powers

• That we must not take anything or anyone for granted because you never know when we might lose them.  I am a New Yorker and I honestly never really gave the World Trade Center two thoughts when it was here.  I never recognized its true beauty until it was too late.
• That we must take time out from our “busy” schedules to love one another and take care of each other.
• That love beats hatred a zillion times over.  Look at how much banding together that occurred in the aftermath of 9/11.  It is sad that it took a tragedy to gather people together in love.  We should love one another each and every day and not just after something really bad happens or because it happens.
• That we must be willing to overlook each other’s difference and respect and love each other regardless of cultural, racial, or religious beliefs.
• That we must REALLY take a good look at history and remember it, so that we don’t repeat the same things over and over again.  Too many tragic events get forgotten and the lessons that should’ve been learned from them get disregarded.  This is truly a shame.

Always remember 9/11 and what it taught you.

Blessings, Light, & Love,

Deanna

 

Those who truly shine have their own minds! :)

5.3.11 3:04pm.

 

Seriously, - think about it for a moment! How many clever people over the history of time have made their marks in the world by being their own person and by paving their own paths. I was thinking about this yesterday as I was listening to Madonna music while I was cleaning.

 

Madonna is definitely the type of person who has her own mind. Madonna knows what she wants, what she has to do to get it, and then she goes out and gets it. Think about it - the woman has been making music for how long now? 30 years - around there. (Boy, I feel old! :-/) Love her or hate her - you have to admit her ability to keep up with the times and reinvent herself when necessary is bloody-well brilliant! It truly is!

 

So why not rip a page out from the book of Madonna and pave your own pathway. Rediscover who you really are. Re-invent yourself, if need be. Don't just settle for what this world or its people lhink you should be. Be bold - Be You! Unleash your own inner Madonna and have a good time with it. J

 

Note: Oh, and BTW, --- in no way am I saying to do all of the crazy things that Madonna has done. I'm only trying to encourage everyone to be their own people. That's the lesson I'm trying to teach here from Madonna. Just saying. ~ D J

When It All Comes Down To It,

5.3.11 2:48pm

 

I guess it really isn't all as bad as it seems. Yeah, there are moments where things could be a heck of a lot better, but things could also be worse as well. Believe me, I do know this fact of reality all too well because I've seen the good, the bad, and the downright ugly. :-/

 

I've known my moments where I thought that my life was completely horrible when in fact it really wasn't as bad as I'd thought it to be. I've known times when I didn't know what I had while I had it and then one day, it was gone. (People, places, things and the like.)

 

My husband Tom always tells me it's all in perception - how you perceive things. If you think everything in your life sucks, then more than likely its going to end up sucking, even if it wasn't so bad to begin with. So, all in all- for the most part - life IS what you make of it.

 

Boy, there sure are some other side concepts that l can write about here. Future ideas ---* lightbulb* J

Pretty Dresses and Precious Memories

Easter is often a day for family gatherings and for sharing and making beautiful memories. Many families go to church on Easter Sunday. And very often, the children are dressed up in handsome suits and beautiful spring dresses. I have very beautiful memories of these pretty spring dresses myself.

 

My Aunt Marguerite recently passed away this past February. She was a very wonderful, kind-hearted, and giving person. I had lost my paternal Grandparents long before I was born. My Aunt Marguerite was sweet enough to "adopt" me as her granddaughter. (She already had four of them---Melanie, Tiffany, Lauren, and Shelley.) Melanie and Tiffany's mother, my late cousin, Dawn.--God rest her angelic soul, became sort of an adopted aunt. (Dawn passed away in 2004 after suffering from a birth defect related disorder of the spinal column.)

 

Every Easter, when I was a child, my Aunt Marguerite and my cousin Dawn used to buy pretty spring Easter dresses for the four granddaughters and for me, too. I would go to church services with my Aunt on Easter Sunday and get to wear my new pretty Easter dress. I can honestly tell you that this was something that meant a lot to me. My aunt and cousin really didn't have to do this for me, but being the sweet, kind-hearted, and generous people that they were, they did. I don't know if I honestly ever expressed just how much this meant to me and now I can no longer do that - at least not directly to their faces on Earth- and that saddens me, I must admit.

 

Please take the time out today, and every day, to express your appreciation and gratitude to those you love and for those who love you. Do it now please! You never know just how much more time you may have with someone on this Earth. I never thought my cousin Dawn would pass away in her early 50's and now I regret the things I didn't say or do for her.

 

I know that a lecture about gratitude seems more befitting for Thanksgiving, but I think we should be thankful every day for what we have and for the people we have. Why not tell someone today just how grateful you are for them being a part of your world while you still have the chance.

 

Have a very Happy Easter!

 

Peace & Love To You all,

Deanna :)

My Sincerist Apologies

Hello to all of my friends who have read and have shown support for this blog, The Mirror's Reflection!  Oh how I have missed you all.

 

I wanted to write this note to let everyone know that I haven't given up on my writing ambitions, nor have I give up on writing this blog.  February was a very tough month for me with my husband's health issues and the passing of my sweet Aunt Maugerite.  I guess I needed some time to sort some things out.  It is really tough to lose someone who meant so much to me and I greatly miss her.  I'm not sure if I've truly digested her passing yet.  It's not that it was really surprising since she was in her 80's, but still, nothing ever prepares a person for losing someone who had such an impact on my life.

 

But anyways, --- I'm still here, I'm healing, and you WILL be hearing from me really soon!

 

Love Always,

Deanna J

The Mirror's Reflection's New Look (As of 3.31.11)

I decided to change the look to The Mirror's Reflection blog. Hopefully, it looks okay! :)

Man, I have such wonderful ideas and thoughts!

Hmmmmmm, --- wonder if I'll ever be able to get them out???

Sometimes I think it's time that I lack in --- other times, it's motivation.  You know, the want to - I actually give a crap mentality.  So I just sit around and waste my God-given talent(s) like a bloody bump on a log.  But then again, I suppose the bump on the log is utilizing its God-given talents because that's what it's supposed to be --- a bump on a log.  KWIM? J

I guess my problem with writing sometimes, or all too often, is like my problems with many other things in my life --- FEAR!  Fear of failing, I suppose, or fear of being critiqued.  Then again, that's what life is like no matter what you do.  Odds are sooner or later, you're going to run into someone who for some reason just hates your guts.  But for the one person who hates your guts, you've got to believe that God will give you 5-10 people who absolutely think you're the greatest!

And as for fear of failing,  if a person doesn't try, then they automatically fail just because they didn't even try.  What's the sense it that really? It's so much better to try and fail, then to never try and never know if you could've succeeded at something.

My husband for the longest time has been trying to encourage me to do something with my writing gifts, as well as other people that I've known along the way.  I've been told it is a true waste of a great gift and a thought came to my head, --- "What if so many of our histories greatest minds had not tried to do something, then where would the world be today?"  What if Edison decided not to invent things like the light bulb because he was afraid to fail?  What if members of The Beatles had not pursued their musical dreams, would the music world have been the same?  There have been so many great and brilliant minds in history that took a chance to achieve their dreams when they could've just as easily not done anything at all, but then again, what good would that have done for them and possibly other people as well?  Think about it.

So, --- I guess the moral to this story is that you'll never know unless you try, and I will never know unless I try.  Simple as that! J

A Special Thanks to My Preeclampsia Sisters

In honor of Tommy's 7th birthday, I wish to thank all of my fellow preeclampsia and HELLP Syndrome sisters for being there for me all of these years.  I have learned so much from all of you wonderful, strong women.  I have laughed with you.  I have cried with you.  I have celebrated with you.  I have mourned with you.  You have helped me out in your own special ways and I love you all for being here with me throughout all of this.  You are truly the most amazing women that I have ever known in my whole entire life!  Blessings to you all! J

Welcome!

Welcome to my new blog.  I will use this blog to write about my reflections my life and my observations of the world around me.  This is the first time I have EVER publicly shared any blog that I've ever kept.  I started a blog years ago, but never revealed it to anybody else.  I consider myself to be kind of a private person who doesn't always feel comfortable sharing everything with everybody.  However, I am a writer and want to begin work on my writing career --- with the encouragement of my husband and many others along the road of life.

 

To be honest with you, for me, sharing something like this blog is kind of scary for me.  I don't like criticism or arguments.  I consider myself to be a pretty peaceful person.  I respect people's rights to having their own opinions, although, I don't always feel respected myself.  I guess sometimes that's the way it is.

 

Lao Tzu once said "Those who know, do not speak. Those who speak, do not know" and I believe that is true. I do have a lot to say, but I seldom say much.  Then, on the other end of the spectrum, there are those who talk, talk, talk and they don't know a damn thing.  They just talk for the sake of hearing themselves speak.  I talk when I have something to say.  Guess since I have something to say, it's time I start talking.

 

So that's why I'm here and why this blog is here.  I want to be a voice for what I believe in and for things that I have been through.

 

This being said, I respectfully ask that anyone who visits my blog, please be respectful of my thoughts and opinions and I will return the favor back to you.  Blessings to all, and again, --- welcome to my blog! J