25 Year’s Ago Today …
My beloved Uncle, Chester Smith, went to heaven. I was only 12 … almost 13, years old, and when it happened, it truly hit me hard. I was not prepared for what had happened, as many people aren’t when their loved one’s die suddenly. All I knew was that one minute the man I had loved my whole life was there, then the next, he was gone. He had had a major heart attack and died within a few hours from when the ambulance had picked him up in our front yard. (My uncle lived in the house that my family and I now live in. We lived behind him in a trailer at the time.)
I had been sent over to my aunt’s home – on my mother’s side of the family; my uncle is on my father’s side. I was over there for hours waiting to hear what was going on, but didn’t hear anything. My cousin ended up taking me to the hospital to see what was going an and soon after arriving, I received a big shock that still hits me kind of hard to this day. A very insensitive nurse came out told me the news by saying, “He died.” Just like that. “He died …” And that was all she wrote. I barely made it back to the elevator before bawling my eyes out. It just hurt so bad. My parents never meant for me to find out that way, and my aunt still feels bad to this day for having my cousin bring me there. I’ve told her that I don’t blame her. I mean, she didn’t know any more than I did. We just wanted to know what was going on.
So, … anyways …
Wow! It has been twenty-five years now. It’s so strange. It was after 1987 and that event that my life began to change. It started when we moved from the trailer into my uncle’s house. Since then, … so many “unexpected” changes have occurred in my life. In 1989, I began my struggle with depression. In 1997, I was stricken with panic disorder. In 2004, I came down with severe preeclampsia and HELLP Syndrome and had to give birth to my son via c-section 6 weeks early. I believe it was 2005 that I found out that I have a blood clotting disorder called prothrombin gene mutation. Then, in 2006, I was diagnosed with secondary unexplained infertility.
Most of what I thought would happen in my life so far hasn’t happened. Of course, that doesn’t mean that something else won’t come along because it always does. Do I get disappointed by things that happen in my life that are totally unexpected? Sure, of course I do. I’m still dealing with a lot of those feelings and emotions.
What my point is in all of this is that things happen. Some things are good … while some are downright terrible. In life, we have to learn how to roll with the punches and keep on fighting the good fight, no matter what. It’s about gaining resiliency and not letting the bad times ruin your life. Take a good look at your obstacles and try to make the best of them. There is always something good that can be found even in the worst of situations. Sometimes you just have to look beyond the darkness to see the light. One day the sun will shine again and it will shine on you.
© Deanna Smith-Powers/The Lotus Flower Butterfly Girl, 2012.
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